Raah!!

Got taken off track!

2010-05-31T15:27:00.004+10:00

There I go! Just when I think I have everything sussed, I am taken totally off track. I have been trying to get my new office hooked up with phones and I have been given the total run around. I have been trying to get tradesmen to quote me on signwriting, plumbing and other things with very little joy.
Then I went to "New Vogue" dance training and the teacher followed me around for an hour shouting at me. That did it! I allowed that experience to totally destroy my image of myself as a dancer and gave it permission to cause me to lose belief in my ability.
WOW!
Some work for me to do there and some appreciation of how assailable I am at the moment!
I'll be back.
I need to build a Bell Jar to protect the gentle flower that is my soul - or reinforce the gentle flower into a towering tree, more like.....

The Austrian Philosopher

2009-07-01T19:40:00.002+10:00

That Austrian Philosopher Arnold Schwarzenegger (and yes, I did check the spelling) once said "shit happens."

Indeed it does! Does it, however, need to keep happening?

The answer is no.

What it takes is a view, a vision, of a world different. Of a world transformed. Changed.

Of new opportunities created. Of passion. Spirit. Rising to the challenge.

When I was extremely nervous before a talk, it gave me solace to repeat "I'm the best person for the job." I may not be perfect; I may not be the greatest ever; but I am sincere in my desire to do the best job I can possibly do.

Plus, I am the only person who is set up to do it. I am the only person here. I may not be great - but I am here. If I chose not to do it, I will definitely fail.

When I chose to do it, there is a possibility I could succeed mightily.

Certainty of failure or possibility of success? I choose the possibility!

Business for myself!

2009-06-14T22:31:00.003+10:00

I have finished my last Landmark Education Course.

I have just about conquered a long term habit of drinking to excess - my favourite drink was "The Next One!"

Trouble is, I have never been able to handle it! I have a lot of friends who do exactly the same thing - but they don't get as intoxicated, as fast.

I have a lot of friends who dance, too.

But that, I am good at! Better than most.

I'm not the greatest, however! But I know what I need to do to get better. Practice, practice, practice!

I am going for my Silver Latin in July.

I have also the opportunity to go into business for myself. All I have to do each week is find 4 people who are in need of financial planning advice, are open to discussing their needs, and are close to my target market!

Nothing else will matter.

Old mates and different styles.

2008-12-29T16:34:00.003+11:00

The cat!

The same one who thought the Real Estate Agent was her long lost friend, decided that she would be all nervous around my sister.

Trouble was, my sister was supposed to be feeding the cat - Bleach - while I went away for a few days.

My trip was on a knife's edge while Bleach decided whether or not she was going to co-operate.

In the end she decided she would play the game and away I went.

Wasn't an overly successful weekend.

My mate has an issue with his six offspring. He has decided to marry a Thai lass. His offspring have all stopped speaking to him.

They are of the opinion he shouldn't be doing it.

Doesn't matter that he is very happy with the prospect - and he is very stubborn.

All weekend he was very angry and short with me - probably because it is Christmas and none of his kids have rung him.

We had a big blue when I had enough of his behaviour.

We both almost came to tears.

Anyhow, we sorted something out and remain friends.

Life's for living, I suppose...

Nervousness and success...

2008-12-29T16:22:00.003+11:00

On the 20th December I went for my Silver medal in ballroom - composite - Latin, Modern and New Vogue.

Samba; Quickstep; Tango Terrific.

I achieved a "highly commended pass" - score of 85 to 95%.

It was incredibly nerve racking. I felt intense pressure on the day.

Yet I was prepared. In spite of not having a regular partner, I practiced almost every day. Going to the local athletics track and dancing around the track. That sort of practice has probably never been done around there before!

It was challenging, it was frightening, it was invigorating!

I will definitely do it again. It has restored my interest in dancing.

What was really inspiring was to see the other people from the dance studio have a go at their medals.

Some of them have had to really struggle to learn their dances and get in the rhythm. Their efforts were awesome!

It was a marvellous day.

Progressive realisation....

2008-11-07T10:09:00.002+11:00

I have been ballroom dancing for around 6 years now.

I have not gone for medals because I regarded it as a bit of a wank!

Yet the dancing is losing a bit of it's appeal to me. I am feeling like I am not challenged by it.

My partner of the last three years has moved to the other side of town, and we are no longer dancing together.

She is a great dancer - but we just didn't have the magic there.

Another lass has said she would like to partner me. She is very much a go-getter and very keen.

So, "Medal Bound I Be!"

I wont have to start at Bronze, because of my experience; I'm going straight for Silver.

This will scare the living shite out of me, but it will be a great leap forward for my dancing!

It's on the 20 Dec 2008 - if the posts get a little paler between now and then, it's because I am too....

The cat is back

2008-07-16T09:11:00.002+10:00

I have had the cat, Bleach, implanted so I know what happens to it.

I had it given it's first set of vacinations.

I bought it a collar.

Total cost $99.00.

It disappeared.

For a day and a half I opened the front door - no cat!

I left dancing early in case it was there - no cat!

I came home on the night of day two and there was the cat - minus the collar.

Came in like nothing had happened...

I know dogs have owners, while cats have staff.

I know all that, but still...

Lost a friend last night

2008-07-16T08:57:00.004+10:00

Lost a friend because I fell out with someone they are related to.

Trouble is, one thing I deeply respect is loyalty. Someone who will defend a friend regardless of the opposition.

I even have a grudging respect for blind loyalty - being blind to a friend's foibles.

Sometimes venom or poison from one relationship, seeps into one's other relationships.

That is to be expected - while regretted.

It is far easier to poison something, than to nurture it and help it to grow.

The results, in each case, are entirely different.

I am constantly reminded of what I read in a book on relationships - "that which can be untied, shouldn't be cut."

It takes courage and respect for a relationship to untie it. It also takes the capacity to do it.

People don't touch our lives for a reason; they just touch our lives.

What we get from whatever happens, once we recover, is entirely up to us.

I wish THEM all the best; a stout heart to rise above their situation.

There is far more to life than the history we have been exposed to.

Real Estate Inspection

2008-06-24T14:22:00.000+10:00

I don't have any pets - at least I didn't have any.

That is until a cat wandered into my life - hungry and cold.

I fed it, it stayed. The cat lives under the house and only comes out at meal times and for a short visit in the evening. Those visits are getting longer, however.

The real estate agent does an inspection once every 6 months. It was today! So I rushed home from work.

I took the kitty litter out to the garage. I put it's plate and bowl in the sink and covered them with dishes. I spotted the washed cat food can on the sideboard and put it out for recycling. I was pretty pleased with myself until I spotted the scratching post in the hallway.

"Ah," I said to myself, "it is those types of mistakes that bring you undone! This cat is nervous about people; it is relying on me to keep looking after it!"

One last circuit of the house to check that it is cat evidence free, and there is a knock at the front door.

I open it with a cheery grin, that quickly becomes strained, as I see the Real Estate Agent standing there. Beside her is the cat!

She says, "do you want the cat inside?"

"What cat?" I want to say.

A feeble "yes" is all I manage.

We went through the whole inspection and at the end she said "nice cat."

I said, "It'll be the death of me!"

Inspection passed.

Christopher?

2008-05-31T15:34:00.001+10:00

Ever done something absolutely fantastic; and undone it all with one oversight?

A friend who I dance with (female, before you wonder)dropped off a basket of chocolates and biscuits for my kids.

She said "there you are Jacob, Sarah and Christopher."

Nicholas, the youngest, most impressionable and easiest hurt said "Christopher?"

I said, "come on Christopher, stop mucking about!"

He said, "I'm Nicholas."

My friend, not to be outdone said "I thought you were Christopher."

I said, "well that's what I thought." Why not pour a little petrol onto this situation?

Nicholas said, between gritted teeth, "I'm Nicholas!"

My friend retreated.

I asked the kids to do a thankyou card. They all signed it - the artist, who was formerly Christopher, wrote Nicholas - underlined it three times and had six arrows pointing to it.

I said, "mate, that hints a bit vague. Wouldn't twelve arrows have been better?"

They re-did the card, but three underlines remain.

I've got to get out more - I found it hilarious!!

Old Random Question

2008-04-21T14:56:00.000+10:00

Pro-progressive people who "would take on Moby Dick in a row boat and already have the tartare sauce" - anti-progressive people who would "ask for a bacteria count on the milk of human kindness...."
Better to be like the boy laughing and digging in a room full of horse manure - when asked "why?" he said "with all this manure in here, there has to be a horse in here somewhere!"

Old About Me

2008-04-21T14:52:00.001+10:00

Life is always a challenge. At the moment - I am alive and I have felt the pain and exquisite joy of it.
I have lost some people dear to me through death and others have moved on, on their life's journey. Have some true friends and have met some lovely people. Some people are not so lovely!
That's life!
More wins than losses - it's really both that count.
The wins for the warm fuzzies; the losses for the real life, sometimes painful, lessons. I have had some marvellous successes. It's being relaxed about it all, eventually, that really counts.

Power in just being

2008-04-21T14:36:00.003+10:00

I resent people telling me what to do.

I resent people who are bossy.

Went Blog surfing today and "met" some incredibly creative people. Some really helpful, marvellous people.

This was one, I commend it to you:

"One of the things I was curious about when I did the media cleanse was this: What was the feeling I experienced just before reaching for the tv or the phone or the email? What was it that drove the compulsive habitual behavior?

What I learned is that for me (and for most of us I would guess) the impulse was about a desire for connection. There is a kind of loneliness that comes before the reaching, a sort of anxiousness, a wanting to fill up the moment/the silence/the space with something. For someone like myself who works alone, blogging and email seemed like a reasonable solution. But I have been questioning if these ways actually satisfy that desire for connection or if it is simply more of that grasping that we humans seem to do so much of."

Another person who is thankful for the things they have

Who directed me to a recipe blog

That led me to other recipes

That led me to "meet" other lovely people.

I am changing my approach to this whole thing. It will be a chronicle of where I am going!